Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Would you like an apple pie with that?

I know it's old but it still makes me chuckle. Because stupid stuff is sometimes really funny. I don't think this necessarily qualifies as "really funny" but it's certainly stupid... and it gets caught in my head... and I keep going back and listening to it again... and each time it's a little funnier.
Besides, in the end isn't it "these type of people" that make the holidays that much more enjoyable? What am I talking about? I don't know, but this is me stopping.
Here's the thing.

Monday, December 06, 2004

Wind's blowin' up a gale today.

Well, as I'm sure most of you Quailfaithful have noticed, things have changed over at The One That Started Them All. That Blonde Kid... has been completely revamped, and Rella fandom hasn't been in such a frenzy in quite some time. If we are lucky, last week's post will merely be a tantalizing hint of things to come. Perhaps Kyle has in store plans to unveil the long awaited "comment" feature. If you hear shouts and praises in the streets, then check the Quailman's blog, as that will surely be the source of such jubilation.

This shift in tides comes (the offices at Jukkity can exclusively reveal) as the result of an intervention. Over the Thanksgiving holiday Yours Truly browsed to the blogger homepage, led Kyle to the computer desk and sat him in front of it, and then lectured him on cruelty. His legions of fans are in excruciating pain following his "One post per seven months" frequency. Whether Kyle ups the ante, only time will tell.

To celebrate this (potential) glorious return, and since today is the 2-year anniversary of the Day Rella went crazy, I thought we could all reflect. So without further ado...

December 6, 2002: THE DAY I WENT CRAZY

This is the sad story of the day I went crazy. Back story: Jeff my roommate had to leave town so I have had the dormroom all to myself the last few days. Wednesday and Thursday went well enough, but for somereason, today i woke up and went insane. Here's what happened. I went to bed thursday night at 11:00, very early, but for reasons i won't explain it made sense. Woke up around 8:40 for my 9:00 class. And turned on the weather channel to see how cold it was outside. 31 degrees. I dressed accordingly. All bundled up, I walked to my 9:00 class and proceeded to slip on ice everywhere i walked. Class was short, and i walked to the cafeteria and caught the tail end of breakfast. Went back to the dorm, the lights still off and went to sleep. Woke up around 4, and this is when I went insane. You see, if you live in an environment without conversation long enough, you start to talk to yourself. I sat in my chair in the middle of my room with the lights off and MTV muted for 2 hours, talking to myself. That was weird, but then i unmuted MTV and watched the new Justin Timberlake music video for "Cry Me a River," trust me, it's a dang good video. I then went onto my computer and watched it 4 times in a row on music videos.com. This is when things got really weird. I started living the music video in my dormroom. I started looking at my posters on the wall the way Justin looks at the Britney Spears lookalike in the video. I started dancing off the furniture, singing the song (it was still playing in the background) to my movie posters. I don't know if Brad Pitt (he's on one of my "Fight Club" posters) enjoyed my singing, but his frozen smile was good enough for me. I then proceeded to smoke a cigar outside, by myself. Now, if you know me, you know I don't mind smoking an occasional cigar, but not by myself, that's just weird. Well, i didn't just smoke it sitting down, i went into the woods by my dorm and acted like an army general with an unlit cigar in his mouth. I talked to my troops, and said weird things like "Alright men, lets give 'em hell!" Honest to God I did all this. I even took pictures of myself smoking the cigar and looking at the camera with smoke in my face. I went to dinner, reaking of smoke. And stared at people from my spot in the corner of the lunchroom, expecting them to attack me. Luckily none did, i would have karate chopped them. I finally left and walked back to take a shower. Now, you'd imagine a shower would wake me up and snap me out of this state of insanity. Nope. In the shower everything was in slow motion. From the water falling out of the spout, to the precipitation sliding down the walls to my movements. All in slowmotion. I wrote weird things on the wall then erased them. Only i could see them because i was writing them with my moist fingers but it made sense to me. I finally got out of the shower, and started walking around my dormroom naked and wet. I would peep out the window expecting some paparazzi to be taking pictures of me, but to no avail. I finally put on clothes and here I am, recounting my insanity of the last 11 hours while watching "The Best of Snoop Dogg" on MTV. I have decided to go home tonight because I realized I haven't had a face to face conversation with anyone in 72 hours and a healthy hug from a sibling or parent will help me snap out of this delirium. So there you have it. This is a day I hope I can't remember tomorrow.