From Concentrate With Added Ingredient
Every morning when I get to work I go straight to the refrigerator to fetch a little can of Welch's (since 1869) 100% Grape Juice. Amount of liquid contained within? 5.5 fluid ounces. Because clearly a full 6oz would be riddikulus. (I apologize for nothing). But really, 5.5 is enough to repeatedly send me to the bathroom for the remainder of the day, which I don't understand. Also, people who don't take the time to write or say "refrigerator" over "the fridge" bother me to no end. Man, I'm just getting warmed up.
UPDATE: See comments for further proof that "fridge" is a stupid abbreviation.
UPDATE: See comments for further proof that "fridge" is a stupid abbreviation.
13 Comments:
I guess after millions of years of evolutionary theory, the word "refrigerator" has mutated an extra letter.
Tag.
I believe at the end of 1936 a political action committee was formed to discuss various spelling issues. They successfully petitioned Webster, Oxford, etc to add the 'd' to 'refridgerator.' Then in 1938 the stupidity of this was realized and all records of the word were changed back to reflect the "No-D" version. I, for one, happen to prefer this shunned 1937 variant, but I'm modifying the original post to better suit all you nay-sayers. Excuse me for trying to tie a little history lesson into everyone's lives.
Tag.
Perhaps you gentlemen would like to take your little quarrel to #72 of 1985 Super Bowl Champion fame.
info@TheFridge.net
“I don't come here lookin' for trouble, I just came here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.”
I advocate your position that "fridge" is, not only stupid, but completely unnecessary. I have it on reliable authority that this specific nomenclature does not find its origin in any specific jurisdiction of the English lexicon, but is derived in more of an ebonical fashion--largely uttered by persons of an obese carriage, their vocal passages being much too constricted by fat, their mental processes being much too retarded by lethargy to achieve the correct term. Thus "refrigerator" becomes--in a tonal grunt, "fridge".
In fact, as is largely the case, "fridge" has taken on much more responsibility than that of a meager noun; to aforementioned people en route to the object in question, "fridge" has assumed the functionality of an entire sentence: that of subject, predicate, and object. This is also a haphazard and befittingly lazy way for these persons to eliminate unnecessary words--an idiom if you will. Therefore, "I am going to the refrigerator" becomes simply and perversely, "fridge."
I'll begin lecturing a course at Villanova next semester
dedicated enitrely to this subject.
I can't believe all you guys can talk about is this "fridge" business. What about the man's grape juice?!! None of you have commented on that. I, for one, did not know that my own husband drank 5.5 ounces of Welch's 100% grape juice every single morning. I feel like I don't know you at all, Jeremy? That wasn't a question.
Ameskins has risked ridicule and called you(us)on your(our)incessant fridge-refiddle-faddle. I applaud you darling, for your gracious departure from the topic. Following the young lady's discourse; What of this Ingredient? Is or is not the Juice, only one? Singular? What substance declares its own sneaky delecatbility above others? What maniacal mass dares to so secretly spread itself to the distracted patrons of morning grape juice? 100%? Ha! I require more details.
It's pretty obvious that in those miniscule 5.5 ounces, Welch's has added a secret ingredient that causes frequent urination. Basic common sense tells us that--obviously--Welch's and the urinal companies are involved in some sort of conspiracy. But most likely not.
If anyone wants a display of "lame" and pointless blogging, I will gladly redirect them here.Oh, that's right... I went there.
Now now, children, can't we all agree that each of our blogs is equally lame? Good, that's what I thought. Except of course for
One Million Footnotes
I don't know why, I don't know how.
I thought you loved this blog, but I'm not sure now
I've seen you look at its comments, too many times
The love you want is from a....different zine.
I thought we really had something goin here gang. Let's not lose our enthusiasim. We need to do some Domino Dancing....All day, all day.
It is strange that our society has a need for brevity and their kitchen appliances. Stranger still your ability to pee all day from 5.5 ounces of grape juice. Impressive? I think so.
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